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Homophobia within the community

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Homophobia within the community

Message par Ani le Dim 2 Oct 2016 - 7:01

This is something that I have encountered time and again, people who think that there is something wrong with them, who think gay marriage is a joke and that same sex couples should never be allowed to adopt….

One of the worst ones was a girl I talked to very briefly years ago, she told me once and I quote “I hate gay men, they are disgusting it’s because of them that the community gets a bad reputation” that was our last conversation by the way, I think this was the worst of them all, because It wasn’t even about self acceptance it was just hypocrisy and ignorance

There was another one a couple months ago, and just casually in the middle of the conversation she said, “Ewa lay 3fo 3lina” to be honest I just chuckled to this one and moved on

I wanted to start a conversation about this and see what you guys think and if you have any stories to share.

Ani
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Re: Homophobia within the community

Message par fluvoxamine le Dim 2 Oct 2016 - 7:47

Internalized homophobia, I'm afraid I might be guilty of that one... I sometimes catch myself actively prentending to be straight. That's what happens when you live in a homophobic environment.

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Re: Homophobia within the community

Message par Queen Of Nothing le Dim 2 Oct 2016 - 8:45

I wanna thank u for the interesting topic u chose. Unfortunately u're not the only one who met such people. I remember a girl who told me something similar she said that she hates gay men who have female behavior according to her a man should stay a man in fact i couldn't finish the discussion with her. We shouldn't always balme the society we belong to it's about those gay people who can't accept themselves and spend their life acting as if they're straight it's not necessary to tell everyone about ur sexual orientation but at least don't speak ill about gays in order to hide ur homosexuality or whatever
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Re: Homophobia within the community

Message par Bewitched le Dim 2 Oct 2016 - 9:06

Internalized homophobia is very common, I myself have come across many people who casually throw phrases like "lah y3fou 3lina mn Hadchi" and it's so sad, people who can't even accept themselves for who they are and give right to homophobics. And even when someone is very accepting of their sexuality, you still catch them being biphobic or transphobic or... And it just goes on. Not being aware is understandable and for those I suggest they educate themselves and try to understand and seek knowledge, but not wanting to understand and straight up refuse it, that I cannot tolerate and the conversation will most likely stop there.
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Re: Homophobia within the community

Message par Ani le Dim 2 Oct 2016 - 9:49

fluvoxamine a écrit:Internalized homophobia, I'm afraid I might be guilty of that one... I sometimes catch myself actively prentending to be straight. That's what happens when you live in a homophobic environment.
Pretending to be straight at school/work with new people that’s just survival, I mean in this country you can only possibly come out to your closest friends and family, unless you’re doing it all the time then there might be some truth to it

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Re: Homophobia within the community

Message par Ani le Dim 2 Oct 2016 - 9:51

You’re welcome Queen Of Nothing and I heard that one before too, about effeminacy

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Re: Homophobia within the community

Message par Ani le Dim 2 Oct 2016 - 10:12

Bewitched a écrit:Internalized homophobia is very common, I myself have come across many people who casually throw phrases like "lah y3fou 3lina mn Hadchi" and it's so sad, people who can't even accept themselves for who they are and give right to homophobics. And even when someone is very accepting of their sexuality, you still catch them being biphobic or transphobic or... And it just goes on. Not being aware is understandable and for those I suggest they educate themselves and try to understand and seek knowledge, but not wanting to understand and straight up refuse it, that I cannot tolerate and the conversation will most likely stop there.
That is so true it is just sad, each time that I come across someone like that I just get pissed for a second and then feel sorry for them, they don’t need any homophobes to put them down they’re doing a fine job by themselves.
About the transphobic and biphobic queer people that’s a whole topic of its own, I’ve never understood how someone who has been subjected to prejudice and hate because of their difference can do the same to another person, but this one is common everywhere though even in more open societies, this one is the lack of empathy and knowledge i guess

Off topic : is that 11 from stranger things in your profile pic?

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Re: Homophobia within the community

Message par blueber le Dim 2 Oct 2016 - 10:16

I think that our surroundings are one of the causes of homophobia wether its within the community or outside of it , for eg i was raised to think that homosexuals are going to hell and whenever i used to come across a guy wearing a pink shirt, i would think he's gay cuz pink is only for ''girls'',(which i think is really sad because no one told me i was wrong).

 Then at junior school there was this rumor about 2 girls being together and I litterally was so surprised because I didnt know that such thing can happen :2 girls. Together. It was so taboo that anyone I know would refuse to talk about .

 Then came high school and this is when stuff began to b more clear. -First year : major crush on my female pc teacher, this was honestly the straightest ive ever been my whole life. -Second year : huge crush on my female eng teacher (damn Wink thumb up )rumors about me being a lesbian (and in a relationship with my friend) because i ve never been in a relationship with a guy before, and never said yes to anyone who asked me to b with them, obviously I cried and I was so mad that  , THEN met a lesbian for the first time who knew NOTHING about lgbt, she didnt know what transgender or asexual or bisexual or antg really means and she didnt try , which I think is very weird , i mean thats the least someone can do , google it.
  when I knew i was attracted her , I hated her (cuz that was like confirmé) I wouldnt say I was necessarily ''homophobe'' but damn i was homophobe with my own self , i watched movies, series,shows, read books antg that was related to lgbt ,and after a long period of being in denial I realized that meh u like who u like and u cant help it, and since -Third year : ''new year new me,lol" evrtm sm1 would speak shit bout the lgbtq+ community I m there defending it ,i never came out(told some friends whenever i had the occasion to do so) and never will since i personally dont see why I should tell evr1 who and what i like .

 All this to say that I myself was one , and that i couldve still been the same .i used to b around close minded ppl or very religious ppl who even made me hate myself and do and think of shitty things, but i chose to educate myself and not to hate on smtg just cuz som1 else is against it (in this case almost the majority of this country ) and accept myself for who i am and others for who they r or want to be.
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Re: Homophobia within the community

Message par Bewitched le Dim 2 Oct 2016 - 10:18

Ani a écrit:
Bewitched a écrit:Internalized homophobia is very common, I myself have come across many people who casually throw phrases like "lah y3fou 3lina mn Hadchi" and it's so sad, people who can't even accept themselves for who they are and give right to homophobics. And even when someone is very accepting of their sexuality, you still catch them being biphobic or transphobic or... And it just goes on. Not being aware is understandable and for those I suggest they educate themselves and try to understand and seek knowledge, but not wanting to understand and straight up refuse it, that I cannot tolerate and the conversation will most likely stop there.
That is so true it is just sad, each time that I come across someone like that I just get pissed for a second and then feel sorry for them, they don’t need any homophobes to put them down they’re doing a fine job by themselves.
About the transphobic and biphobic queer people that’s a whole topic of its own, I’ve never understood how someone who has been subjected to prejudice and hate because of their difference can do the same to another person, but this one is common everywhere though even in more open societies, this one is the lack of empathy and knowledge i guess

Off topic : is that 11 from stranger things in your profile pic?

Yes that is indeed 11 from stranger things
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Re: Homophobia within the community

Message par Bewitched le Dim 2 Oct 2016 - 10:24

blueber a écrit:I think that our surroundings are one of the causes of homophobia wether its within the community or outside of it , for eg i was raised to think that homosexuals are going to hell and whenever i used to come across a guy wearing a pink shirt, i would think he's gay cuz pink is only for ''girls'',(which i think is really sad because no one told me i was wrong).

 Then at junior school there was this rumor about 2 girls being together and I litterally was so surprised because I didnt know that such thing can happen :2 girls. Together. It was so taboo that anyone I know would refuse to talk about .

 Then came high school and this is when stuff began to b more clear. -First year : major crush on my female pc teacher, this was honestly the straightest ive ever been my whole life. -Second year : huge crush on my female eng teacher (damn Wink thumb up )rumors about me being a lesbian (and in a relationship with my friend) because i ve never been in a relationship with a guy before, and never said yes to anyone who asked me to b with them, obviously I cried and I was so mad that  , THEN met a lesbian for the first time who knew NOTHING about lgbt, she didnt know what transgender or asexual or bisexual or antg really means and she didnt try , which I think is very weird , i mean thats the least someone can do , google it.
  when I knew i was attracted her , I hated her (cuz that was like confirmé) I wouldnt say I was necessarily ''homophobe'' but damn i was homophobe with my own self , i watched movies, series,shows, read books antg that was related to lgbt ,and after a long period of being in denial I realized that meh u like who u like and u cant help it, and since -Third year : ''new year new me,lol" evrtm sm1 would speak shit bout the lgbtq+ community I m there defending it ,i never came out(told some friends whenever i had the occasion to do so) and never will since i personally dont see why I should tell evr1 who and what i like .

 All this to say that I myself was one , and that i couldve still been the same .i used to b around close minded ppl or very religious ppl who even made me hate myself and do and think of shitty things, but i chose to educate myself and not to hate on smtg just cuz som1 else is against it (in this case almost the majority of this country ) and accept myself for who i am and others for who they r or want to be.

Yes society and our surroundings should be blamed for raising us with prejudice and judgment, but as you said, when the occasion came for you to learn, you did it, you tried to understand, to know more, to get to a level of acceptance, to educate yourself and get away from everything this stupid society told you was wrong. Others don't do that, they prefer following orders and closing their eyes and ears.
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Re: Homophobia within the community

Message par Ani le Lun 3 Oct 2016 - 10:21

Bewitched a écrit:Yes that is indeed 11 from stranger things

I thought so, I loved that show Smile

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Re: Homophobia within the community

Message par Ani le Lun 3 Oct 2016 - 10:28

blueber a écrit:I think that our surroundings are one of the causes of homophobia wether its within the community or outside of it , for eg i was raised to think that homosexuals are going to hell and whenever i used to come across a guy wearing a pink shirt, i would think he's gay cuz pink is only for ''girls'',(which i think is really sad because no one told me i was wrong).

 Then at junior school there was this rumor about 2 girls being together and I litterally was so surprised because I didnt know that such thing can happen :2 girls. Together. It was so taboo that anyone I know would refuse to talk about .

 Then came high school and this is when stuff began to b more clear. -First year : major crush on my female pc teacher, this was honestly the straightest ive ever been my whole life. -Second year : huge crush on my female eng teacher (damn Wink thumb up )rumors about me being a lesbian (and in a relationship with my friend) because i ve never been in a relationship with a guy before, and never said yes to anyone who asked me to b with them, obviously I cried and I was so mad that  , THEN met a lesbian for the first time who knew NOTHING about lgbt, she didnt know what transgender or asexual or bisexual or antg really means and she didnt try , which I think is very weird , i mean thats the least someone can do , google it.
  when I knew i was attracted her , I hated her (cuz that was like confirmé) I wouldnt say I was necessarily ''homophobe'' but damn i was homophobe with my own self , i watched movies, series,shows, read books antg that was related to lgbt ,and after a long period of being in denial I realized that meh u like who u like and u cant help it, and since -Third year : ''new year new me,lol" evrtm sm1 would speak shit bout the lgbtq+ community I m there defending it ,i never came out(told some friends whenever i had the occasion to do so) and never will since i personally dont see why I should tell evr1 who and what i like .

 All this to say that I myself was one , and that i couldve still been the same .i used to b around close minded ppl or very religious ppl who even made me hate myself and do and think of shitty things, but i chose to educate myself and not to hate on smtg just cuz som1 else is against it (in this case almost the majority of this country ) and accept myself for who i am and others for who they r or want to be.
I struggled with my sexuality as well, I mean almost everyone does at the beginning, whether they are from Morocco or another country. I remember when I was a kid there was a scene on tv about a gay couple and my sister said “A3oudo bilah mina chaitan rajim” and I have dozens other stories like that so growing up homosexuality seemed like the worst sin of them all. But like you I did go on a self-acceptance journey, a journey that a few people in this community never bother to take, and those are the ones that this subject is more aimed towards.
Honestly hats off to you for accepting and assuming yourself at 17.

Ani
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Re: Homophobia within the community

Message par Kourziya le Mer 5 Oct 2016 - 7:56

J'ai trop la flemme de tout lire, déjà que c'est en anglais, lol

J'aime bien la forme d'autodérision de certains gays (les mecs, en tout cas) en blaguant sur ce qu'ils aiment appeler "leur déviance". Tant que c'est de l'autodérision, ça passe, à mon avis..Après, un bon paquet de lgbt au Maroc a un sérieux problème non résolu avec la religion...On a l'impression qu'ils n'assument ni leur homosexualité ni leur semblant de religiosité..mais du moment que leurs remarques et leurs agissements ne "contaminent" pas d'autres esprits égarés, ils peuvent toujours causer...

Sinon un autre type d'homophobie qui TRÈS fréquent chez les gays est celui qu'on trouve dans les applis. J'appelle ça 'un type d'homophobie' car les victimes en sont les homos, mais on pourrait très bien appeler ça du racisme, de la "mochophobie", de la "bouzbalophobie", etc...Ce sujet mériterait un long topic à lui tout seul...
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Re: Homophobia within the community

Message par attenuer le Dim 9 Oct 2016 - 13:58

It used to happen whenever I'd go to Morocco. Societal pressure and conditioning. I'd tell myself that I was comfortable with who I was - but fear can derive from shame, becoming isolation/suppression of identity.
i was much younger then. you change, you grow, you accept yourself and others(hopefully).


Love takes off masks that we fear we cannot live without and know we cannot live within - James Baldwin
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Re: Homophobia within the community

Message par Kourziya le Lun 10 Oct 2016 - 9:06

attenuer a écrit:you change, you grow, you accept yourself and others.

Oui, mais les autres ne nous acceptent pas toujours :/
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Re: Homophobia within the community

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